What actually happened:
At my condo in BC, my friend May-May (Who was visiting with me) woke up and needed to go to the bathroom at, like, four in the morning. She went to the bathroom and her nose started to bleed, so she waited in there for it to stop. A few minutes later she heard a horribly pitiful voice coming from outside the door:
"May-May?"
"Yeah?"
"Where are you?"
"Oh, my nose began to bleed."
"Oh."
May-May went back to bed to a really bewildered me and was told my side of the whole story:
I heard her get up while half asleep, but when I opened my eyes and saw that she was gone I thought of about 500 000 different reasons as to why she was gone and where the Hell she went to. And the most obvious to me was that she went to the Olympics to announce the beginning of the ski racers.
I sat up and thought, no, don't interrupt her, she's very important there and stopped myself, and I lay back down. She was 35th, and I was 60th in the announcing, and my throat hurt a lot and my nose was clogged (I'm starting with a cold, but my subconscious transformed it immensely) and I told myself to keep swallowing to remain in rhythm, though I wasn't allowed to blow my nose. I heard May-May sniff from the bathroom and my mind said, "Oh, she sniffled, that means that I can sniffle too" so my sniffling to stop my runny nose started up.
I got really frustrated that May-May was taking so long, but kept thinking, "don't interrupt her! That would be rude!". I sat up again to talk to her, but I told myself not to interrupt and I lay back down again. I then thrashed about in frustration and sniffed rhythmically, knowing that if I did so my skiers would all start at the same time. Where were these skiers while I was in bed? On my pillow of course! And I also knew May-May's skiers were in the bathroom, though I don't know HOW at all. I sat up once again and stared at Maya's absence in the bed for what seemed like 15 minutes, really confused and frustrated. I thought, Maybe she bundled up in the corner and felt around the bed for her body. I then thought she fell off the bed and leaned over the edge. I double-took too many times when I saw my reflection in the mirror across from the bed in my room. I then thought, wait, why is there Olympics so early in the morning? I mean, May-May's not a morning person and I then thought it was the afternoon. I was so close to opening the drapes to see if it was true when I reasoned that no, the lighting is different in the afternoon in my room. I whispered May-May's name a few times harshly because I was so freaking scared. I then thought, was she kidnapped? Did she hitch-hike away? Did she run away from me?. And then, while still sitting up, I might like to mention, my mind started to clear and I reasoned that May-May still was in the bathroom, even though I didn't see a light under the door. I thought, let's investigate and I got up, got my glasses and checked the time, then walked over to the washroom. While walking, I had the huge urge to sing The Sound of Music for no reason. I saw the door was unlocked, to my dismay and made me further believe that Maya died or something, then I cried out in the most pitiful voice because of my aching throat:
"May-May?"
"Yeah?"
"Where are you?"
"Oh, my nose started to bleed."
"Oh" as if it answered everything in the whole world. I replaced my glasses then flopped into bed. I was relieved and when Maya came back I was still kind of scared that she would leave but started to laugh because I finally came to my senses and woke up.
I'm wondering if I was drunk, would this be WORSE? WHAT THE HEY IS WRONG WITH ME? I almost bawled my eyes out in my room because I thought May-May left me for the Olympics or something, when I could just have easily gotten up to see what was wrong. Also, it felt like 2 hours even though it was about 12 minutes at the most. I think it has to do with me getting sick.
This was so so funny though. Does anyone have the weirdest half-asleep moments as I do? I doubt it.
No comments:
Post a Comment