Reza Rants: Religion

Boy, I'm talking about some serious stuff on this blog, now, aren't I? I guess to me, a blog is something to get thoughts out to people I don't know. Twitter and facebook is for people I do know, my journal is for me, but a blog...a blog is for everyone who cares to read.

Today my university put up a white board with markers available to the public with this question at the top: "Do you think that today's Christian World view inhibits sexuality?"

What a question, huh? The board is now scrawled with numerous answers, both for and against. There are quotes from the bible with full citations and there are also crude drawings of two people having a go on the side of the whiteboard.

People passing by are fascinated and partially disgusted. Questions like these are never taken lightly, no matter what you say. Some people do not take it seriously, while others take it too seriously. Who's to say who's wrong? No one. But, since there isn't much room on the board anymore, here are my thoughts:

I am not religious. My father has a stern belief that if you are born, you are not entitled to believe anything someone else tells you to. Basically, if you don't remember choosing your religion, my father says that it's therefore false. He believes that if you have a child, you should educate them without a religious point of view, but you should also educate them with all of the religious point of views. Children should not be pressured to believe in God if they are not ready, and they should not be forced to hate God just because someone else says so. When they are old enough, they may choose the religion they would like to follow, and if not, they will not pertain to anything.

This is my situation. My parents were both brought up Christian (my mother more Roman Catholic) but I've never gone to church. I've been inside churches, but never for sermons, just to admire the architecture. I've been in Buddhist temples for similar reasons, and even have learned how to perform some rights to the departed and such. I find it fascinating.

But at the same time, I do not believe in any of it, nor am I interested in believing any of it.

This is not to say that I am atheist. I've heard the logic recently, that by being a person that believes there is no God, you do believe, therefore you have a religion. Your religion is just that there is no God or over-ruling force, and that we control our own lives. This logic may sound silly to some, but I kind of like it. The extreme atheists I know know more about religion than most religious people just to go against them. And some extreme atheists are far enough to try and "preach" to religious people that they are wrong and should not believe in God...

Far-fetched stretch, but there you have it.

In my point of view, however, I am not an atheist. Though I do not side with any God or book or church, I am completely accepting of anyone with a religion. In fact, I'm quite fascinated by people with faith. People sometimes have faith simply to ease their minds at night, and who am I to take that away from them? It's certainly not my business who they decide rules the world. However, it is my business when they come into my business and say that I am wrong for being who I am.

To me, it's perfect logic.

Yes, I've prayed. But not to God. Just to...I don't know, the air? Please, let me pass this test. Please, let me get a boyfriend, those type of wishes I've definitely chanted at some time in the past, but never to anyone in particular. It was just to get the thoughts out so my head wouldn't explode. Similar to this blog, I suppose. I know none of my friends would like to hear me complaining and wishing for things that seem unreasonable at the time, so I just say it to the open air.

And yet, to me, whether you believe or not believe, it's your business and what will happen to you will happen. Hm, that sounds confusing. How about an example?

//
This is an example from a book called On a Pale Horse by Piers Anthony. There is a scene that is laid out as such:
A man is an atheist and is committing suicide by slitting his wrists and laying in a bathtub full of warm water to slowly bleed out. Death, yes, the Grim Reaper himself shows up and plans to take his soul. However, even though Death is right next to him, with full skeleton-body and scythe, the man claims that he does not have a soul and does not believe in the afterlife.

Death is right in front of him. The man feels his face, which is dry bone, and Death is telling him that no, actually, religious people were right. There is a God, and there is a Satan. If I take your soul once you die, you will go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory depending on the levels of sin upon your soul. And yet, the man denies it all.

Eventually, as the man dies of his slow-bleeding death, Death gives up on trying to convince him of the truth and reaches out for his soul. He peels it out of his body, but before he can package it away, it disintegrates into dust.
//

This example was a huge impact on my outlook on life. If you believe it, it will happen to you. It doesn't matter whether God actually exists or not, if you don't believe in him, you won't go to Heaven. You won't go to Hell, either. You'll just die.

So then, I always thought, where does that leave me? I've never had an opinion on religion. People who are religious can stay religious, I could care less. Those who are atheists are fine, I don't care about them. The only time I do, like I said before is if they are physically in my business.

I do not consider myself to be agnostic, either. To me, being agnostic means you are questioning the existance of God, which I suppose you could say I am, but I don't believe I am. I don't know whether God exists or not, that is true, but that also doesn't matter. He exists for those who believe him, right? Isn't that what Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy says? 

"'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'"

I can live with that. Though the book continues with claiming that the Babel fish destroys God because it's a dead give-away that he exists, I won't get into that. 

I guess my summary doesn't solve much...but I am not agnostic, and I am not atheist, and I am also not religious. I am...

Neutral?

And as for the whiteboard, with the question about the sexuality, I definitely don't want to get into that right now. I think my brain needs a rest after reading some of the things other people wrote on the board. 

Coming-Out Day thoughts

Happy coming-out day, everyone!

Let`s just say that today started average. I got really excited when people were posting these "coming-out day" special posts on facebook, I thought I'd do a coming-out thing just because in my life, who doesn't know my sexuality, right?

Yay! I'm bisexual!

Then...I felt a little dread as my family member messages me almost immediately with questions. Am I really? What about your boyfriend? How does it work?

I get more messages, hey congrats, wouldn't of guessed, hey cool, oh really? blah blah blah

Had I really not told this many people about my sexuality?

I have to think about it from the beginning I guess. I discovered I liked girls when I was in grade 10, and once I gathered my courage to accept it, I had the horrific realization that I liked boys a little over a year later.

In retrospect, when I admitted that I liked girls, I had told my mother in fear, and she said, 'You know, I bet you're bisexual'.

But of course I didn't want to accept that...for some reason, I had always thought you had to be one or the other, and that's that. But alas, after liking a good friend of mine, admitting it, and liking another girl, I fell in love with a boy.

And I was like, 'oh shit, mamma was right, as always'.

After that though, it was sort of a person-by-person coming-out party. First it was my best friend, then my mom, then another one of my close friends, then my boyfriend. I had to let him know that I was bisexual, right? I told a childhood friend then and it got easier. I never even thought about coming out publicly, so I just cleverly changed my Facebook preference to "men and women".

When I got into university, I didn't really want to hide the fact I was bisexual, as I wanted to be proud of it. I let whoever wanted to know know about it, and all my friends in university knew.

So today, when it came to coming out, it didn't seem public since everyone I knew seemed to already know so it wouldn't seem that unlikely.

But then my aunt asked me about it.

After getting these messages, part of me is scared. Was it a wrong choice? I'm not ashamed of being bisexual, but it was only after I put it up that I have a 15 year old cousin on facebook, and a Roman Catholic grandmother who goes on facebook through her iPad. Would I be ridiculed and possibly punished in my family's eye? What about the friends I've made but haven't told? Will they treat me differently?

This fear is so unknown to me, too. I was scared when I was coming out person-by-person, but once I told them I felt better, not worse.

And finally, here's the big thing I wanted to talk about: WHAT BISEXUALS ARE.

A lot of people have the stereotype (which is often true) that bisexuals want to sleep with everyone. I've read a book about a man coming to terms with his bisexuality, and having a commitment issue because whenever he was with one sex, he desired and missed the other.

Not me though. oohhhh no.

To me I feel like I can be aroused and am definitely attracted to both sexes. During my personal intimate times (we all have them, shut up), I've fantasized about both sexes, yes, but I'm in a relationship with a boy now.

And everyone I've told now seems scared that because I'm with a boy that it won't work out. The messages are, what about your boyfriend? still with him? How does it work with you being bi?

Dude, just because I like girls as well as boys doesn't mean I'm going to be like, "I WANT VAGINAAASSS" all the time. Think about it: as a staple straight person, if they're in a committed relationship, they're not just going to go and wish they were with someone else, right? They're committed, and they love their partner, there's just no use to trying to find someone else, because you're happy where you are.

This is my scenario. The only difference is I also like girls. This means if I ever did break up with my boyfriend, there could be a chance that I'd find another boy or a girl to be in a relationship with. BUT, I'm with my boyfriend now. And I love him and I'm happy. Why would I desire anyone else? Just because they have different genitals? NO!

It's a hard thing to understand, but I want to make it clear: Just because I'm bisexual does not mean I'm checking everyone out all the time. Once again, as a staple straight person, are you constantly on the search for a mate? Not always, I hope. And if you're in a relationship, you're still not. Sure, I swoon at the occasional well-looking male, and I goggle at the occasional pretty lady, but I'm not going to be like, "HOMINA" at every person I meet just because they're a part of my sexuality.
I can appreciate women for being pretty without getting aroused, and I can appreciate a man being well-dressed without getting aroused.

What I have is a sexuality, not a super fetish or anything.

I'm proud to be bisexual because that's who I am. And I have to keep pressing the point that I'm in love with my boyfriend and am in the most amazing relationship anyone could ask for. It just happens to be with a male. But he's amazing and makes me happy, so what more can I ask for? Certainly not to get a girlfriend...because I have the best boyfriend ever.

Another friend of mine came out as bisexual and he recently married his lovely wife. He's still bisexual, just because he's with a girl doesn't change that, but because he's with a girl does not mean he's going to be chasing boys.

Once again, I know it's hard to understand, but hopefully I've opened some people's eyes.

And for those of you who have come out as homosexual, asexual, pansexual, or transgender, CONGRATULATIONS AND YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND INCREDIBLY BRAVE.

And for those of you who do not know what some of those sexualities/identities are...look them up. Wikipedia is a thing, you know.

Reezles.

Reza Rants: Time of the Month

Hey-yo! Disclaimer: This is about female puberty and all that, so if you think it's gross, do not read!

I recently watched Jenna Marbles' most recent video, 'What boys don't understand part 2' (yes, there are two videos so far, there will probably be more) and even though she did not mention periods at all in her video, the comments section of the video is jammed pack full of arguments and "discussion" on the infamous 'time of the month'. Why do I care? Because, from all of the flaming I read and all, I actually feel like I have some stuff to say. 

A lot of people don't understand the full extent of what us females go through during our period. What they teach in sexual education is not a lie, but it's the difference between reading about killing a dragon and actually trying to kill a dragon. You know what you're supposed to do, but you really don't know anything. 

SO, I know it's gross, but I've sort of compiled a theory of why people take periods for granted, and why us females complaing about it so much. 

First of all, exposition: a commenter on this video posted one comment that started the entire flame war, I shall quote: 

"i hate girls who complain about periods...blood comes outta ur kooch for like 4-6 days OH MY GOD. really. cramps hurt but its not like you cant pop a tylenol or advil in your mouth, WOW painkillers kill pain? uhh no shit. pms? its not like you can cure that but still its not your free ticket to be a motherfucking bitch. outta all of the shit that happens periods are lie nothing compared to it"

Let's remember flame was created from this, and I will include things I read and things I've surmised from my personal experience as well. 

First of all, the "average" period time is in fact, 4-6 days. You are correct. This is what is taught in sexual education. HOWEVER, "Average" does not mean, "EVERY FEMALE ON THE PLANET." I for one had to endure them for an average of 7-10 days, every 3 weeks consistently. And think about it, bleeding out of your, ahem, "kooch", isn't something to sniff at. IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE. Can you imagine? Not only are you bleeding, so, ew, bleeding, but you have to hide it or else other people think, "ew, bleeding", and with hiding it is very uncomfortable! Pads are not comfy! And some ladies don't use tampons for the fear of Toxic Shock Syndrome, a possibly fatal disease caused by bacteria forming in the vagina from shreds of tampons possibly ripping off due to removal. Yeah. Did you know that? Plus, with pads if you don't have enough time to change them you have to sit for who knows how long in your own blood. Yeah. Gross. 

And cramps. I used to have cramps that would render me motionless, on the floor and rolling in tearful pain. Advil does have a possibility of removing symptoms, but not for long, and I for one cramp hardcore throughout half of mine and cramp lighter for the rest. Cramps are also a different kind of pain. Though the intensity varies per girl, you have to remember that they're CRAMPS and not one consistent pain. Think of it this way: You got a cramp, in your stomach muscles, but more interior. Whatever. It hurts like a beewatch, but after a while you get used to it and are able to ignore it. Then, miraculously, it's gone! Huzzah! You're free from the---AND THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. 

You have to get it into your head - cramps hurt not just because of the pain, but the pain is not ignorable. The moment you can ignore the pain, it goes away and then comes back, possibly worse than before. That's why we complain about them. 

Finally, PMS. PMS is a very confusing aspect of the menstrual cycle. The big thing is, when a woman menstruates, her body goes through hormonal imbalance. This means that mood swings are very likely, which can result in sudden tears or rage. We can't control it, and this makes us even more frustrated. I bawled my eyes out once because I mildly irritated a villager in Animal Crossing once. I've been asked, "What's wrong?" and could only answer, "I don't know". PMS does stand for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, but I know many women that have it before, during and even after her actual period. This means for a good week and a half (and I used to get PMS exactly 2 weeks before my period) we are emotionally unstable. We do not like this because we cannot control it. 

AND FINALLY, what can maybe blow all of your brains out is that on top of the uncomfortable-ness of pads and the unsettling feeling of bleeding out of your private bits, the never-ending pain and the emotional instability, most women cannot have sex due to their partner's disgust. Another well known fact is that women are hornier during their ovulation period, which happens directly before or after her period, therefore, leads into her period. This means that women start her emotionally unstable, painful, and uncomfortable week or so with excrutiating horniness. And I know no woman that wants to masturbate her bleeding vagina. 

Think about that. Be horny, but no sex or masturbation, close to rage/sorrow every second, physically uncomfortable, and in pain for a week EVERY MONTH. Do you understand why we dread it? 

However, I don't mean to be really against any guy that does get annoyed at his partner for complaining about her period. I just have to say this because it was a really interesting discovery and answered a lot of questions even for me. Periods are a part of life, and that's why it's not something to really complain about because it's not going to stop just because we don't want it anymore. It does put an interesting perspective on why we want to complain about it in the first place. Think of how much time a woman complains about her period versus the time women are actually on their period. 

P.S. I use past tense in a lot of this because after I got on the pill, a lot of my symptoms decreased wondrously. Cramps are still a bitch, though.