Coming-Out Day thoughts

Happy coming-out day, everyone!

Let`s just say that today started average. I got really excited when people were posting these "coming-out day" special posts on facebook, I thought I'd do a coming-out thing just because in my life, who doesn't know my sexuality, right?

Yay! I'm bisexual!

Then...I felt a little dread as my family member messages me almost immediately with questions. Am I really? What about your boyfriend? How does it work?

I get more messages, hey congrats, wouldn't of guessed, hey cool, oh really? blah blah blah

Had I really not told this many people about my sexuality?

I have to think about it from the beginning I guess. I discovered I liked girls when I was in grade 10, and once I gathered my courage to accept it, I had the horrific realization that I liked boys a little over a year later.

In retrospect, when I admitted that I liked girls, I had told my mother in fear, and she said, 'You know, I bet you're bisexual'.

But of course I didn't want to accept that...for some reason, I had always thought you had to be one or the other, and that's that. But alas, after liking a good friend of mine, admitting it, and liking another girl, I fell in love with a boy.

And I was like, 'oh shit, mamma was right, as always'.

After that though, it was sort of a person-by-person coming-out party. First it was my best friend, then my mom, then another one of my close friends, then my boyfriend. I had to let him know that I was bisexual, right? I told a childhood friend then and it got easier. I never even thought about coming out publicly, so I just cleverly changed my Facebook preference to "men and women".

When I got into university, I didn't really want to hide the fact I was bisexual, as I wanted to be proud of it. I let whoever wanted to know know about it, and all my friends in university knew.

So today, when it came to coming out, it didn't seem public since everyone I knew seemed to already know so it wouldn't seem that unlikely.

But then my aunt asked me about it.

After getting these messages, part of me is scared. Was it a wrong choice? I'm not ashamed of being bisexual, but it was only after I put it up that I have a 15 year old cousin on facebook, and a Roman Catholic grandmother who goes on facebook through her iPad. Would I be ridiculed and possibly punished in my family's eye? What about the friends I've made but haven't told? Will they treat me differently?

This fear is so unknown to me, too. I was scared when I was coming out person-by-person, but once I told them I felt better, not worse.

And finally, here's the big thing I wanted to talk about: WHAT BISEXUALS ARE.

A lot of people have the stereotype (which is often true) that bisexuals want to sleep with everyone. I've read a book about a man coming to terms with his bisexuality, and having a commitment issue because whenever he was with one sex, he desired and missed the other.

Not me though. oohhhh no.

To me I feel like I can be aroused and am definitely attracted to both sexes. During my personal intimate times (we all have them, shut up), I've fantasized about both sexes, yes, but I'm in a relationship with a boy now.

And everyone I've told now seems scared that because I'm with a boy that it won't work out. The messages are, what about your boyfriend? still with him? How does it work with you being bi?

Dude, just because I like girls as well as boys doesn't mean I'm going to be like, "I WANT VAGINAAASSS" all the time. Think about it: as a staple straight person, if they're in a committed relationship, they're not just going to go and wish they were with someone else, right? They're committed, and they love their partner, there's just no use to trying to find someone else, because you're happy where you are.

This is my scenario. The only difference is I also like girls. This means if I ever did break up with my boyfriend, there could be a chance that I'd find another boy or a girl to be in a relationship with. BUT, I'm with my boyfriend now. And I love him and I'm happy. Why would I desire anyone else? Just because they have different genitals? NO!

It's a hard thing to understand, but I want to make it clear: Just because I'm bisexual does not mean I'm checking everyone out all the time. Once again, as a staple straight person, are you constantly on the search for a mate? Not always, I hope. And if you're in a relationship, you're still not. Sure, I swoon at the occasional well-looking male, and I goggle at the occasional pretty lady, but I'm not going to be like, "HOMINA" at every person I meet just because they're a part of my sexuality.
I can appreciate women for being pretty without getting aroused, and I can appreciate a man being well-dressed without getting aroused.

What I have is a sexuality, not a super fetish or anything.

I'm proud to be bisexual because that's who I am. And I have to keep pressing the point that I'm in love with my boyfriend and am in the most amazing relationship anyone could ask for. It just happens to be with a male. But he's amazing and makes me happy, so what more can I ask for? Certainly not to get a girlfriend...because I have the best boyfriend ever.

Another friend of mine came out as bisexual and he recently married his lovely wife. He's still bisexual, just because he's with a girl doesn't change that, but because he's with a girl does not mean he's going to be chasing boys.

Once again, I know it's hard to understand, but hopefully I've opened some people's eyes.

And for those of you who have come out as homosexual, asexual, pansexual, or transgender, CONGRATULATIONS AND YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND INCREDIBLY BRAVE.

And for those of you who do not know what some of those sexualities/identities are...look them up. Wikipedia is a thing, you know.

Reezles.